I've pondered about this post, over whether it is appropriate or not and I'm still not sure but here goes anyway. This evening was a very difficult evening as it was the beginning of my namesake aunt's funeral services. She was also my Godmother.
Our family certainly didn't fall off of Walton's Mountain and the work of maintaining links can seem onerous in the melee of everyday life. This isn't a new occurrence in the wider family as I can recall as at each funeral shocked relatives commenting that they only seemed to meet up at these times and they should make more effort. However, time and again this pattern was repeated with the real culprit being complacency and the whirl of everyday busy-ness.
Tonight was very emotional and very difficult to be there and to witness. She died much too early and suddenly, just a few years into what should have been a happy retirement after working hard to raise her three girls and make life the best it could be. Now she leaves a family stunned by grief and uncomprehending as to how they will manage with the yawning chasm that her loss represents.
My Mum, her sister, who has had multiple life threatening illnesses and is thirteen years older, is now the only one left of her family. For me, the shock hasn't sunk in properly but tonight at the service to hear my own name used repeatedly by the priest was surreal and confusing. To watch my cousins and my uncles comport themselves with such dignity was humbling. I wish them the blessing of sleep and rest tonight for what they have to endure tomorrow.
So what am I thankful for? Well I am thankful that I could be there tonight and will be there tomorrow to honour my Aunt and to support her family. In addition to the dread attending a funeral holds I also pray that I will be able to manage to do the walking I need to do on my faulty knee to fulfil my duty and act of love to hold strong for them. If anyone has a moment to send a prayer please hold us in you thoughts.