A little sum to test the arithmetic of cat owners.
You make 6 rashers of bacon and split the loin part from the streaky bit and cook separately so that the meat is tender but the fat is completely crispy. (I don't care if it is weird, I like it this way!). You take two loins and two crispy bits for breakfast and leave the rest to cool so that it can be put in the fridge for other breakfasts. You close the kitchen door properly when you leave but later forget and wander back and forth for coffee etc. How much bacon remains?
In this house the answer is one loin and two crispy bits. The culprit, if we exclude poltergeist activity and acts of God, would seem to be Red; as Magic was out cold on the sofa the whole time. Stupidly though, I looked to see if the missing pieces had fallen or been left in the pan....! Anyway reality dawned and as Red sauntered in I reckoned he could just have the rest because if he had been snacking on my bacon then I certainly wasn't going to be eating it. So I offered it to him and unbelievably the little thief sniffed, gave it a lick, stuck his nose in the air and walked off. Blooming contrary beast!